Orchy Kidnapped!


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It pains my heart to tell the story of the time that Orchy was kidnapped, but I must tell it.

Friday, January 19, 2007: It started innocently enough at a family gathering in Phoenix. Stories of Orchy's travels were told, and it was understood by all that Orchy was a very valued mascot indeed. Naturally, he joined us for a family photo then we put him down on a table after the photos were taken. When we went home that evening, we didn't notice that Orchy had been deliberately hidden... [insert ominous music here]
Who would do such a dastardly thing? None other than cousin David!
He seems like such a friendly, likable guy, but one look at this cruel taunting and it's clear that it's all a clever facade.
The next day, we asked if we had left Orchy in the hotel room the previous night. It was then that we were presented with this ransom note, but by that time, the deceit had multiplied as the ransom note contained cousin Mark's initials -- he had clearly been framed.
The culprits confessed and were reasonable enough to let us see Orchy, who was temporarily imprisoned in a nearby car. Oh! The horror!
Attempts to break into the locked car were unsuccessful (or would have been if we had tried), so Orchy's terrifying ordeal was not yet over. Various cousins with active imaginations suggested adding a blindfold, and one was fashioned out of a nearby napkin. We can only be grateful that it spared him the pain of seeing what had happened to the oranges next to him.
Sadly, having pipe cleaner legs makes it easy to hang upside from rear view mirrors. The humiliation must have been so awful but he kept right on smiling.
Cousin David struck one final mean pose to show he was serious about his ransom: one million dollars or for us to deliberately lose a game of Killer Bunnies.
We opted not to give in to his demands (time did not permit the great Killer Bunnies showdown, but it will happen some day ... oh, yes, it will), and we were able to negotiate a diplomatic resolution to the hostage situation. Here is Orchy being returned so he can come home to Indiana.
Who was behind the scenes photographing it all? David's lovely but equally guilty wife, Sandra. Don't let that angelic smile fool you. She's got a Killer Bunnies defeat in her future, too.

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